In the beginning was the word....and the word was trust.

If this were a book, I guess it would be classed as a historical novel. I also have to be upfront  and say that the reasons for embarking on this literary trek through my life, is two fold. Firstly, honestly, I'm hoping it may reach someone that finds it a tiny bit helpful, insightful, maybe a little humorous and secondly, more importantly, I really hope that I find some peace, some way forward through the quicksand of panic and dread that I find myself in almost daily. 

Many people, from all walks of life, will, at some time or another, face difficult, heart breaking situations. The impact on any said person will more often than not, be filtered through societies sieve. The support we have from family and friends, our economic infrastructure; employment, housing, coping mechanisms, our responsibility to those we love and so on. For me, it always comes down to communication. Our ability, or lack of, to speak to loved ones, professionals and in my case, the odd stranger or three. There really is something quite therapeutic about talking to a complete stranger about things you wouldn't tell your closest friends. Maybe because you aren't having to be mindful of their feelings on you! I was shocked by many things when my life changing event hit me like a derailed train. One thing that sticks with me now and has happened from the very first day and it is still rearing its annoyingly,  fat head now, usually at the most inappropriate times, is the way people have a need to rush you into a place or position much further on in your recovery than is right for you. It's like the pain they feel at seeing you in the mess that is your life, is just too much for them to handle emotionally. So they push and push, chivvying you along with no regard for your need to heal. I don't blame them, I see it for what it is...the sooner they see you "well", the sooner their pain dissipates. They aren't being intentionally selfish...I guess its human nature to ignore the elephant in the room. It does, however, tend to lead itself into pushing us into hiding our true feelings and thoughts, fears and insecurities when what we really need is for someone to stop, take a minute to actually listen to our version of events and not just hear our placating murmurs of "yes, I'm doing great thanks". 

So, my plan for this blog is to share my experiences, some facts on limb loss and some of the issues facing amputees. If anyone has any questions or ideas of what they would like to see, please feel free to comment. As much as this blog is for me and my mental/spiritual growth, I would also like it to offer some insights and advice that other amputees, their friends and family, will be able to access at times of low mood or just a friendly ear when you need someone who knows the struggles you face when life is a constant battle.